Put you hand into mine.

Put your lips against my lips.

So, how have things been for everyone else? I am still fustrated at home, but have found things too keep myself amuzed while I am here, (Finally) Hoping to get some of the Project artwork done today, been gathering idea's pretty much all week, so I should have something to show off soon! Hurrah!
Failing that I'll just obsess all day! People will figure it all out soon enough, if they havn't already. I just keep falling over and over again.

I have taken over a couple of clubs on DevArt, a Rogue and Gambit fan couple one, and the Emma Frost one (Can't remember if I said that one or not)

Not much else to r port.

Why do people keep diaries?

They, can only be used to trace you, if you have enemies!!

I, am getting so sick of things here. Just been told by Dad that I cannot eat my lunch in my own bedroom. Why, do they insist on treating me like a child, at the age of 21?

%20border=0%20align="LEFT"%20width=190%20height=233%20src=" Wow, what a lot of text! Never thought that I would be like him either. I, keep wanting to write again. Actually, I've wanted to write again for a very long time, but, I only ever fee inspired for it when I am out and about, and never when I have something too write with. Like, whenever I go to London, I want to write a Silent Hill fanfiction, set in the underground, and about one of the amrkets and stuff. But, whenever I am here, nothing at all forms. or, I just read/go on ym PC and roleplay instead. Maybe thats what I am doing wrong? I am really fed up at home as well. Getting annoyed at parents and their constant thoughts of getting me out the house more, and how happy I am that I am seeing less of Stu. I'm, lyke, WTFSTFU! It's my life,a nd I'll live it how *I* want to thank you! Only, I wish I had the guts too say that too them. Usually, I just keep myself locked away in my room. v.v;; Hopefully we will move house soon, and that will help things. Though, I really ust want to get into a place of my own! That would be heavenly!

So, how do I get back on track?

Well, things have been allright here. Had another meeting with Matt about Project 1208 (See link on navigation pannel)

I have been reading these great books by Graham Masterton, I think I told you about them before, the Night Warrior's series. And, rumour has it that he is thinking of writting another one! They also did these fantastic mice mats the series as well, I really want one, but have no idea where to get one from. :( Kinda, like my Dragon for life and my Utena ring, things that I really want, but you know, may get them one day, may not! You know how it is! I needa new mouse mat anyways. *le sigh* And, its so hard getting any visualisation beyond my own imagination for the characters. (Aside the really small picture of the mouse mat) I mean, my imagination for the characters is fine, but well, I want more. Like a thirsty person, wanting more drink! XD

I was, going too put something else here as well!

Oh, I am in despirate need of clothes shopping! I need an up dated wardrobe.
(Eep bus went by, scared the crap out of me!)

My, scanner needs sorting out as well, as in, putting on my deska nd shit, cause at the moment its being stored underneath my bed and just.. gathering dust! XD
Thats no good for 1208! Nor any NW's fan art (Should I do any. :O)

I was RPing for a bit yesterday, not all that much happened, but I guess this means my Haitus is over!? Yay?!

Lord, I gotta ask a favour.

And, I hope you understand.
I've lived life too the fullest.
So, let me be a prince.

I've got to be a prince, so that I can be myself.

I, got a bit short with Lloyd at work yesterday. Is that really how a prince acts? I, felt really guilty for it as well. Cause, he let me borrow his MP3 player, I'd forgotten to take mine too work with me. I apologise Lloyd. And, I hope that you'll forgive me. I hope, that I'll be a prince one day again.

Met up with Stu in town today, and we had a talk in town about the recent past. Once again, we have gotten back together. The past couple of days here have just been so empty and lonely. We, talked about how things can improve on bth parts, and I think we hit the nail on the head. We shall see, but, I am feeling more positive. I, never want to relive the days just gone by. Emptiness is horrible.

Besides.. I miss Bosco already x.x;;

Y.M.C.A

So, its all come happened now. And, everything is back home. It's strange. Really strange. And, I have no inspration to do anything now either. I find that I can't be bothered to RP with Dragonesti anymore, I hate the love triangle situation that he is in. I don't know about drawing yet. Not tried it.
Second Life, I have been on a bit. Brought a few things for our house, a couple of chairs and a bed. I hope you like them Kitten. Erm, what else, been working as much as I can, but I find that the free time in between is empty now as well. Just keep trying too keep my brain occupied with silly little things. Like, tidying my room.

Maybe I should just put Jenn back on Furc?

Sometimes, I want it all too end.

I just, want everything to come to closure.

All I want too do is eat and fuck!

I really want too watch house of 1000 courpses again! Cause, thats what the title comes from!

So, random shit thats happened? Not much at all. Had a really fucktastic weekend. Was suposed to go out tonight as well, but secretly, I missed Ash too much to make the effort. I really wasn't in the mood too either.
Maybe another night I will do! But not to night.

One day, I'll paint it black!

Nothing to report

Like the title says, nothing really importatnt too say at the moment.

Just, been drawing a bit. Opened myself up for art trades again finally, so am looking for people to trade with.

---

Actually, thinking about it, the title is nothing short of a big fat lie!

I met up with Matt on Saturday, and it was so fantastically fantastic! It, felt so right as well. I was so pleased that we did actually meet up. While I was waiting at the Boots clock, and he wasn't there (Iamalwaysfashionablylate) I was scared that he was either not coming, or had been and gone already.
We, went for a cup of tea in Starbucks, and conversation I thought, went really well. We seemed to have quite a lot too talk about. Which, was great. I was also scared of akward silences. We had a few, but nothing a change in conversation topic couldn't cure.
We're planning to go out Friday night, which I am really looking forward too. So that I can meet up with a few of his new work friends. (Weeee!)
Went too The Great Nothing, brought, nothing. x.x;;

We had a Wimpy together too! Like in the "good old days" It was great all round!

Had a Potty Sports thing in the evening, which was alright. A lot of people seemed too complain that they we're fed up though, which was really annoying. As Mum had put in a lot of hard work too organise it.

Had work Sunday, it sucked!

Went out Sinday evening too the cinema to see Charlie and the Chocolate factory. It was really good. Willy Wonka was really... odd! But, thats a good thing! <3

Stop trying to change who I want too be!!

I, am really really fed up with people trying and asking me to stop playing as Dragonesti, and go back to another character who I used too RP as when WE RPed, its not going to happen OK! I have stayed up too late too many nights to actually stop RPing as Nesti! I have sacrified too much as well.

So, if your going to ask me, DONT Ok! Cause, the answer will be along the lines of "GET BENT!"

Thanks Gaz

How evil are you?

---

I owe you so much!! Really I do! And, not for the above either.

Eternity Awaits

I, really don't know what to do. I am in real deep finincial shit. Mum, is trying to get out a loan for me, so that can pay off my overdraft. My wages just went into my bank, and the cash machine just ate my card, and all I wanted too do was check my ballence to see how much I had too pay off. I think I need about 500 pounds to be totally clear.

I need to pay off my camera, which is another 1000. But, I have a bit more time for that. My moths rent, which is 130, and my college course as well, 285.
I don't know what to do.

If I thught it would help i'd open myself up for art and photography comissions. But, It wouldn't No one would want anything from me
And, If I thought anyone wold, I'd put up a donate sign for paypal. (kizmit_star@hotmail.com) So, yeah. I am in the shit house when it comes to money.

---

Work was also rubish today.

Gangsters Paradise

*Yawn* I feel really tired at the moment, and no matter how much I sleep, I can't catch up!

I can't even remember what the hell I signed in to say.

I have a really short shift at work again tonight, and some stuff to draw up, but I have no energy or drive to do it again.

Don't you just want to throw a whole load of HATE at some people sometimes?

I had a really fantastic morning this morning, I went to a dog show. And just like last year at the same time was a Hunting Festival. Although I did a two year course in "Animal College" I am NO WAY against Fox Hunting. I love Beagles, so naturally, I want too see them happy in what they love doing. And, the ones they had at the show were perfectly adorable too!!

I'll see what I have in the form of pictures for a future post here.

---

So, why you ask? The angsty title if I had such a good day surrounded by the best and most cute thing in the world?

Because I feel ripped off... to put basically, I KNOW that I do not own any copyright to masks, but since I have only roleplayed as Dragonesti, I have noticed a HUGE surge of mask wearking characters on Furcadia. So, yeah, Jenn = annoyed about it! XD
It's just something that paints a big part in my character, and now seeing a lot of other characters with masks on, makes me feel really unoriginal. Even though, I was doing it a long time ago. Ah well, Justice will Prevail! And, when they have tired of their silly creations, I'll remain.

Damnation

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Moderate

Take the Dante's" Divine Comedy Inferno Test

I'm gonna burn the whole world down!

I have too go to work really soon, for a bit of a crappy evening shift. 5 - 8:30 I really don't like short shifts like that. Cause they really do my head in.

Had a bit of a bad day, had to go into town and sort the bank out. Seeing as my Student Overdraft has expired. I applied for a loan from abbey, but they declined it. Great -.-;; I knew there was a reason I hated the Abbey. I have a meeting with Barcleys next monday, too see if I can transfer my overdraft too them instead. And, pay them off, rather than Abbey.

Erm, went into Burger King for something too eat, but had too take two burgers back as the bread roll they we're was MOULDY!! I can't believe it! I mean, hygiene starndards and crap ike that should prevent having ONE moudly roll, let alone two! And the manager then confessed to having more in the back like it, he threw them away! Thank God! But, Pukesville or what!?
I'll never go in there again!
No second chances from me!!



(The proof - Yes, we took a picture of a mouldy burger!!)

Then, went out for an ice cream, cause I just felt so ill from the mould... mould scares me >.> And, now I have a real bad headache.

I got signed up for my level two course, which commences in September, on the 19th. Can't wait!
Hopefully Tim will be on the course as well. So I'll have someone too talk too!

One day, I'll be a prince you'll see

I jut had this over whelming urge to watch some of Utena again. I just simply adore Utena herself and her attitude. She is just outstanding. I love her whole demeana. And, one day, I want people too think of me as a prince. Like people do her. I never want too see any of my close friends upset or hurt. I'll protect them, like a prince should a princess!

One day, I'll revolutionise the world! One day, I'll burn it all down! I'll change everything about the world, so that its a better place for everyone. But, that means destroying the one we have now. But, one day, I'll make this world better for the people who have it so bad that they can't eat anymore.
I'm gonna burn this whole world down!

---

Today, I was so touched and inspired by someone I work with. Clark, you have touched a part of me today, that no one has reached in a long long time. Your music is so admirable, and one day, I can promise you now. You will be a superstar. Your music and lyrics have so much meaning too me it is unbelieveable. When there is no one else in the world, you do have your Mum and Dad, they will always love you no matter what happens with school and other people.
I just HAVE too buy your album dude! And, I sure as shit hope your working tomorrow, cause I wanna listen to your songs again!!
Even better if you have the CD for me >.<

I really was SO SO speachless after listening to those three songs.

Clark Chapman, a name to remember for the future guys and girls. The one of few that make my day at work tolerable!

I wanna get out of here!

I really do plan on moving to America in the future.

My Way - Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend,
I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case,
of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full
.I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.Y

es, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
-And did it my way!

---

No one can know what this song really means too me.

There are two songs that I feel really conect me with my Mum.
My Way, though Mum prefers the Elvis version, we both want "our" versions played at our funerals.
And, Family Portrait, by P!nk, and, thats cause me and Mum went too see P!nk together, and I cried when P!nk sang it infront of us.

My Way - Frank Sinatra

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend,
I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case,
of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life that’s full
.I’ve traveled each and ev’ry highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.Y

es, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.
To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows
-And did it my way!

---

No one can know what this song really means too me.

There are two songs that I feel really conect me with my Mum.
My Way, though Mum prefers the Elvis version, we both want "our" versions played at our funerals.
And, Family Portrait, by P!nk, and, thats cause me and Mum went too see P!nk together, and I cried when P!nk sang it infront of us.